I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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