Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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