i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize