The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
