Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
