Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
