Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I supernannyed him into submission
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
