i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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