Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
