??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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