I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
