The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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