come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize