He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
