I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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