I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Couch. On fire.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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