Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
