at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
