Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
