In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
