we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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