I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
