i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
