Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I would ride that face into the sunset
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
