Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
