1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
What a dumb baby whore.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
