Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
