Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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