He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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