Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
