He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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