Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
