I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
