Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Someone came in the potted fern
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize