thus making me awesome and them whores
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
