No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize