before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Green mimosas i think yes
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
