covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
