As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize