Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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