I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
