my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
