Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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