I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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