We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
