He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
