btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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