And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize