If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize