Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
one two three fourrrrnication!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
