i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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