i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize