The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
