I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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