thus making me awesome and them whores
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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