Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
