ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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