I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
