I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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