I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
