Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
