I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
high people should be assigned attendants
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
