It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
